Even if nobody asked:
1. Things you look back on and say, “What if….?”: 2004, I was staying at the Patriots team hotel for Super Bowl 38. Coming back to my room around midnight, the guy in the room next to me is just heading out. He’s with a couple of his boys and he starts razing me about going IN when he was going OUT. He does his best to convince me to join him. He may even have done it with a few rhymes and rhythms. I NEARLY caved-in but declined with a chuckle or two. I still look back and wonder what a night out with Snoop Dog would have been like.
2. If I could hide my insecurities as well as they hide the unsubscribe button in emails, I could conquer the world.
3. Spending a few nights with my grandsons has reawakened a skill in me: when kids are melting down, you need to change the channel in their head. And who has the remote control to do that? YOU DO! And the remote control asks questions, it doesn’t make statements. You need to get really good (INTENTIONAL!) at it if you want to survive them.
4. I back my car into the driveway each night. This confounds my wife. She finally worked herself up and asked me for a reasonable explanation. I simply asked her if Batman backed out of the Batcave? (No, he did NOT!) She pivoted away quickly but not before she heard me say “I’m Batman. I’m Batman. I’m Batman!”. She doesn’t ask anymore.
5. In less than 50 years we once went from horses and buggies to airplanes. That’s like the whole world is saddling a horse in the 70’s and now they fly to destinations in a mechanical bird six miles up in the sky. Now that is progress. Today, technological conveniences abound, but transformation like THAT? Not so much.
6. When you’re angry, you’ll send the best email you’ll ever regret. Wait a day to reply.
7. I have a significant seafood allergy (fin and shellfish, very rare). When asked what my death row meal would be, I answer, “Seafood, so I can cheat the executioner out of his commission”. (Yes, my brain often operates like a lost hiker in the jungle without a compass.)
8. A wise carpenter will tell you, “Measure twice and cut once.” A wise carpenter sending an email will tell you, “Measure THREE times, and cut once.”
9. “He just needs to tighten things up a bit” is the professional sports coach or scout telling you the road to improvement is small while knowing the road to improvement is near impossible. My athletic life, if ever worthy of commentary (it wasn’t), would have been littered with “He just needs to tighten things up a bit.”
10. Don’t know what car you want next? Try this. Rent the car you’re thinking about on Turo for one day. In most areas you can find just about any car you would consider. Costs less than $75 for most vehicles. Regret costs way more, except when it comes to Shoop Dog, of course. 😎