Even if nobody asked….
1. I worked with a guy back in 1984 who would come to the office each day and tell me how much money Tammy Fay Baker (and her notorious husband, Jim) had raised the night before on their televangelism TV show PTL. He would describe the money grab by how deeply Tammy’s makeup ran down her face when she cried. He’d drag his hands down his cheeks in mock sobbing while saying he almost became a “partner” last night. I eventually asked him what PTL stood for. He got up out of his chair, hands on hips, shock and dismay written all over his face and fired back: “Junior, what are you, an idiot? It stands for Partners That Love.” Decades later (not seconds or minutes later like a normal person) I came to know PTL means Praise the Lord, not Partners That Love! He got me, as he so often did. (Jean might remember this guy 😎)
2. The Francis Scott Key bridge was originally built in 5 years. A century later and all the progress we’ve made, and the new bridge is projected to take 10-15 years. The Empire State Building was built in 13 months! Can you not be as advanced as you used to be?
3. Caitlin Clark is the 2nd best Caitlin athlete of all time. I suppose she could claim the top spot if she could throw the javelin more than 68 yards or high jump greater than 6 feet. Or if she spelled her name with a Y instead of an I.
4. I’m doing 75 Hard for the month of April. And no, I’m not interested in your math or your unclever calendar gymnastics on how that works. Just be quiet. Thank you.
5. “He throws the football a long way”. “It’s how he grips the baseball.” “He shoots the basketball really well”. STOP. We know which sport we’re watching. Just say ‘ball’. We got it. You don’t need to over articulate to sound more professional, more knowledgeable, more syllabic. This trend (now a decade long) has run its course.
6. Mookie Betts has become the 1st MLB player to play 1,000+ games in the OF then play 100 at 2B, and then become a starting SS. I believe Hall of Famer Robyn Yount did this in reverse order back in the 80’s. At this rate, Mookie finishes his career behind the plate as a catcher, right?
7. I was driving 25 MPH in a speed camera (taxation without representation) zone recently. A young driver was tailgating me, flailing his arms up and down in frustration. At the next traffic light he pulls up alongside me, puts his window down and starts yelling. I (nearly) calmly told him about the speed camera. His face twitches a time or two and then he yells back “Well, it’s a holiday, you F’in moron!” I don’t know what to make of that. Just thought you needed to hear it.
8. The college sports transfer portal combined with NIL (Name, Image, Likeness pay) is unlimited free agency with annual opt-outs and no salary cap. Sounds like a great plan for competitive balance in a sports league. Good luck with that NCAA.
9. If an NBA player is -20 but his team loses by 30, was he, in fact, a +10? This is how my brain works. BTW, the Knicks the other night got 85 points from three starters that all went to Villanova. Told you I was a box-score junkie.
10. I lost my Kindle recently. Thought for sure I had left it at a doctor’s office, so I called and left a message. No return call. Tried again the next day. No return call. Finally, I just drove over and asked the receptionist if it was there. “Nope, haven’t seen it.” I asked if she could go back and just take a look for it. Three minutes later she comes out with my Kindle. I jokingly say, “Hey, you had a chance to call a patient with GOOD news. You should look forward to that around here.” She nodded in quiet agreement and closed her little window. ‘Maybe it’s me’ example 3,245 lately.