Even if nobody asked….
1. I pick people up at DEPARTURES, not ARRIVALS at the airport. It’s much easier and there are fewer militant parking marshals shewing you along like you were blocking the high-speed lane. As I wait, I routinely see the truest exhibitions of love and affection that married couples have shown since “I do”. Saying goodbye has power that saying hello lacks.
2. Joe Rogan is the new Johnny Carson. How’s that, Carnac? Well, when unknown comics or actors appeared on The Tonight Show for the first time their life was never the same. Notoriety arrived instantly. The same thing seems to happen when someone is a guest on The Joe Rogan Experience.
3. “Most people don’t choose their futures; they choose their habits, and their habits choose their futures.”
4. Can we at least get a misdemeanor charge for sports announcers that use the verbal diarrhea “both sides of the ball”? A ball is round. It doesn’t have sides. Now, at least in football, it makes sense as it relates to the line of scrimmage. But where is that line in basketball? Baseball? Somebody needs to start handing out tickets on this – fast!
5. “People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.”
6. In New England, it’s harder to keep your car clean in May than it is in February. Most cars here don’t need a car wash, they need an allergist.
7. “The customer is always right”. Um no. Complaining customers are children trying to be adults. The business needs to be the parent. And not one that acts like a child! Deliver the truth. Always. And do it with grace (but not the tone!) of speaking to a child.
8. “Back after these words” is the clever amputated version of the truth that is no longer spoken by TV and radio hosts. “Back after a word…from our sponsors (advertisers!)” is the original. The editing of that is yet another subtle fib that slips by our ears most days.
9. “Reality TV” is NOT reality TV. It’s a story or show that just happens to have actors that use their real names. “Reality Name TV” is just a show where the writers gave up trying to think of clever names for the cast.
10. My wife, Trish. told me years ago that she will never sunbath at our pool if men are working in the yard. That is the day I gave up yard work. Somehow, she has failed to realize she was the instigator of said resignation.