Even if nobody asked…..
1. I went to a boxing match and a concert broke out! The lead screamer of Janes Addiction got into a fist fight with the base player on stage in Boston last week. My first thought? “How does this not happen more often?” Nothing says Fight Club like being travel weary, competing for attention, LOUD settings, soaring heart rates, drugs, alcohol, and ego’s. Or maybe they’re just grumpy old men.
2. The job of a leader is to create more leaders, not more followers.
3. The road traveled from “miss” to “ma'am” for a woman is a cliff dive without a parachute. Pure panic; arms flailing, heart-stopping screams, a splattered landing. Not good. Guys, I’ve never heard a woman that was called ‘miss’ correct the person by saying “no, it’s ma'am”. Remember, they’re all ‘miss’ until the funeral.
4. Telling a person to “mind their own business” is an adolescent way of roadblocking an opinion or a suggestion you don’t want to consider. Poor form. Juvenile. No seat at the adult table for you.
5. Nicole Kidman is now a character playing Nicole Kidman. We’re a long way from Dead Calm (go ahead, look it up), aren’t we ‘Cole?
6. The most LOVING thing you can say to someone you just met: “Tell me your story”. (Then shut up and listen!)
7. My personal IMDB.com rating system for watching something: MOVIES: drama’s over 7.2, comedy’s over 6.0. TV SERIES: drama’s over 8.0, comedy’s over 6.8. You can scrape off .2 to .5 for actors you dream about or genres you love. You’re welcome.
8. You want to end a conflict? Let the opponent know that their life is valuable in your eyes.
9. I think there’s a basis for a hit sitcom built around the way I speak to my dogs when no one is around. Or a bed for me at the Oregon State Hospital. I can’t be alone on this, right?
10. I had just finished cleaning the pool on a spectacular afternoon last week and sat down to read a book. I look up and there’s a supermodel in a bathing suit flowing across the deck headed in my direction. I quickly become the teenage version of myself and catcall a bunch of words that will not be repeated here. I was a breath away from a standing ovation when she asked if my pool cleaning included emptying the filter baskets. “Nope, I forgot those”. So she reaches down and opens one. “There’s two dead mice in there, Dean!” (Not using her ‘inside voice”, I notice). I groan something about “buzzkill”, might even have suggested she go back to work. Fortunately, she marched back in, got a bag and gloves, and took care of the problem herself. I am indeed a blessed man.
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